Via Mary, a great post from Dorothea Salo about how to make geekland more inviting:

So here is what you do, if you’re a man wanting to help. You say, “Um, was that supposed to be funny? Because, not laughing here.” You say, “Hey, could we not use that phrase? I don’t like it.” You say to the main perpetrators, in IRC whispers or private email or whatever, “Hey, would you mind toning down the jokes? That kind of talk really bothers me.”

She’s talking mostly about talk that’s demeaning to women, in the wake of the Kathy Sierra death threat drama, but it’s good advice in whatever context.