Do I have to go to my company’s social events?
My company holds a twice-yearly conference for all staff, bringing in people from our various interstate and overseas conferences. During conference week, there’s usually at least one “team” social event — usually informal — plus a more formal full-company dinner on the Friday night.
The social events are optional, and some of the people I work with choose not to go to them. Me, I quite like this company’s events: they have decent venues, decent food, open bar, and most of the people are friendly and good to hang out with. Better yet, it’s a big enough company that I get to meet people I don’t see all day every day, while still not so huge that I end up just hanging out with my own team anyway.
Some of the guys I work with don’t go to the conference social events, though — especially the less geek-friendly ones, like the semi-formal dinner. I used to work in a job where I didn’t like going to all the company social events. Got me in trouble, in fact. So it’s a bit of a pet subject for me: when do you have to go to a company social event, and when can you skip it?
Here’s what I’ve come up with so far. It’s a points-based system. If you come up with >= 10 points, you should go to the event.
- Did your boss tell you it’s compulsory? 10 points.
- Did your boss say “Well, it’s not actually compulsory, but…”? 7 points.
- Is it during work hours, excluding lunchtime? 8 points
- Is it during lunchtime on a business day? 3 points
- Is it on a weekend (Saturday/Sunday)? -3 points
- Is it just for your immediate team? 5 points
- Is it for the whole company, where company size < 50? 5 points
- Is it for the whole company, where company size < 500? 3 points
- Is it for the whole company, where company size >= 500? -2 points
- Are you a line manager (i.e. do you have staff who report to you)? 5 points
- Will there be people present from one of your company’s other offices (incl. telecommuters), who you have contact with as part of your job? 3 points
- Is someone from your team leaving the company? 5 points
- Is someone you know/work with, not on your team, leaving the company? 3 points
- Did you skip the last social event? 3 points
- Did you skip the last two or more social events? 7 points
- Do you have a legitimate prior engagement (eg. friend’s birthday party)? -3 points
- Do you have a legitimate MAJOR prior engagement (eg. family member’s wedding)? -10 points
- Did work give you less than 1 week’s prior notice? -5 points
- Do you have to travel more than 1 hour to get to the event? -3 points
- Do you have to travel more than 3 hours to get to the event (*just* for the event)? -7 points
- Will it cost you more than $20 out of pocket (travel, babysitter, etc)? -3 points
- Will it cost you more than $50 out of pocket (travel, babysitter, etc)? -7 points
- Do you have any health problems that would limit your ability to participate? -7 points
- Do you have health problems that would allow you to participate but limit your enjoyment? -3 points
This is far from an exact science, and I’m just winging it here. Tell me what you think. Have I over/underrated some things? What have I missed?
9 comments9 Comments so far
Great article! As a contractor that lives and works in the DC area, where many of our parent companies are in the outlying suburbs, this comes up a lot when it’s time for picnics, holiday parties and all-hands meetings at HQ.
Since I don’t have a car and many of these places aren’t accessible by public transportation, I have to run through a similar checklist every time. Especially now that people do report to me and I can no longer wear the attitude of “heck no, I’m not going (all the way) out there!”
Brian: Yeah, the public transportation thing is a bit of a pet peeve of mine too. If work expects me to get somewhere that’s not PT-able, I really want them to pay for a taxi.
I’m really pleased with my current workplace’s attitude to this: they provide cabcharge vouchers (i.e. pay for taxis) to help people get home from work social events, especially when alcohol is served
There are inevitable conflicts, and a simple point-tally won’t help with many of them. All of this really boils down to a single situation: if there is a company social event, and I don’t want to go, under what circumstances should I force myself to go?
If you want to go, the tally is irrelevant. Any excuses you offer will automatically be real excuses: I’d like to go, but my sister is getting married that day. I’d like to go, but I already scheduled vacation and I bought tickets to $FARAWAY. And if your company is unhappy with your valid and good excuse, perhaps you should rethink whether you are happy with that company.
Do you have a legitimate MAJOR prior engagement (eg. family member’s wedding)? -10 points
I disagree here – if you’ve told someone you’re coming to their wedding, you should turn up unless you’re sick or dealing with an emergency (house burning down, very sick close relative, etc). You’re perfectly within your rights to decline the work invitation on the basis of a prior engagement.
delurker: so you’re saying it should have a higher negative ranking, like -50 points? As I had it, I thought it would be pretty damn hard for a work thing to outrank a wedding, but I can theoretically imagine a case where it might occur… a compulsory company conference, on a weekday, where you are a manager, and at which you would be presenting something (ooh, didn’t give points for that).
Using the points system I originally wrote, let’s imagine this:
* compulsory work thing (+10)
* on a weekend (-3)
* and you have a wedding (-10)
* but it’s just for your team (+5)
* and you’re a manager (+5)
You come in at 7 points there, which is less than 10, so the wedding trumps the work thing.
If you also hadn’t been to the last few work things (+7), then you’d have pushed it over the 10 point mark. But as a manager it’s probably your responsibility to make it to those things anyway. It’s pretty hard to get pushed over 10 points if the wedding’s held on a weekend.
You forgot:
* Your own wedding (-100)
But anyone who needed that is probably beyond help administered electronically.
Skud: Because weddings are not only major events, but also tend to be expensive for those hosting them, I do think they should trump social work things once you’ve accepted. If you back out of a wedding, it causes a headache for whoever’s planning it.
(It gets trickier if you haven’t accepted yet, but wedding invitations are generally sent out at least six weeks beforehand so you don’t have to make that decision. If you do wind up having to make the call, your decision will probably wind up being based on which one’s more important to you, or which one needs to look like it’s more important to you. That situation is, I’m afraid, one I think you’re on your own for.)
delurker: Mmm, yeah, the point-value of the wedding definitely rises if you’ve actually accepted the invitation already, as opposed to just being aware of the date but not having RSVP’d yet.
It’s also highly variable depending on how close you are to the bride and/or groom. Like dsr says, your own wedding trumps EVERYTHING. Your sister’s probably trumps nearly everything. Your cousin’s or nephew’s, not so much, unless your family’s closer than mine.
Skud: one other problem in this situation are the expectations of work/the wedding party. You may not perceive the wedding as trumping $important work function, but they might.
As you say, though, the wedding of a cousin you see once every two years at most doesn’t carry nearly as much weight as your sibling’s.
Question: If you’ve done the points and they come out in favour of the work event, but you’ve committed to your friend’s birthday party, how do you break the news to your friend that you can’t come anymore?