OK, so, here’s the deal. Your duty as a host is to provide as many of the comforts of home as you reasonably can. Your duty as a guest is to adapt to your host’s home without complaint, and to thank them properly afterwards.

In the shelf-full of etiquette books which I’ve recently packed into a box in preparation for shipping, they all talk about what to provide for guests. They’re mostly unanimous on towels and soap, and some of them suggest such things as a bottle of cologne on the dressing table (hey, it was 1870, I guess that makes sense) but none of them mention Internet connectivity.

You’re a geek. You have a home network, don’t you? Well, offer it to your guest. Share your WiFi keys as you share your house keys. Find a spot on your overcrowded hub just as you’d help them with a car parking space. And do it as soon as practical after the guest arrives — because if the guest’s anything like me, they want to check their email probably even more urgently than they want to shower or eat.

I’ve always experienced perfect hospitality in this regard when visiting other geeks, and I hope that Ken W is asking more out of general curiosity than as the result of some difficult visiting experience. On the whole, it’s guests on a network who are more likely to break the etiquette rules.

When you’re a guest on someone’s home network:

• Don’t suck too much bandwidth — check with your hosts about any download likely to take more than a few minutes
• Don’t use any network resources outside your own laptop (printers, other PCs, etc) without checking with your host
• Don’t unplug any electronics without asking — lamps and other appliances in the guest room are fair game, however, if you need to charge up.
• Don’t spend the whole visit head down, bathed in the light of your laptop screen. Your hosts presumably invited you because they enjoy your company.

When you’re done visiting — and this applies to any visit, regardless of Internet access — be sure to thank your hosts for their hospitality. At minimum, do this verbally as you leave. “Thank you for letting me stay, I had a great time.” Among couch-surfing geeks, this is the lowest common denominator of civility: any less is outright rude. If you’re staying in a family home and have your own guest room, or if your hosts have cooked meals for you, a little more is probably in order: a small gift such as chocolates or a bottle of something nice, or an old-fashioned thank-you note (especially if you’re staying with someone’s parents). Handwrite and snail mail your thank-you note, as emailed ones only get half points, if that. And on all occasions, if you are able to, it is a good idea to offer hospitality in return. “If you’re ever in Ottawa, let me know. I’d love to have you come and stay at our place.”